i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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