Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
