It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
