But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
