i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
