the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
