sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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