You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
