Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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