If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
