Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
