That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize