i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize