Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
