i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
