you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
