that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
