Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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