Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my poor anus
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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