We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize