in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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