It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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