whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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