I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
