I hate all girls vehemently.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
