you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
