Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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