So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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