Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
