Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
