8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
