Sry I called you an 8
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ladies don't puke and tell
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize