I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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