I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
