You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize