I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
