woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
