I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
