Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
