it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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