I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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