part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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