Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
