The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
