this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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