Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
