so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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