i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
