Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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