Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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