So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she looked like the before picture.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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