Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
