This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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