After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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