omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
