She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize