Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
