let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
