Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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