I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
