if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
