I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
