Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Your cock deserves a montage
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
